Old Me

I'm back to being my old, boring self.

And I love it.

Big Changes

I feel as if big changes are coming soon. And i'm not saying just big. I mean BIG. Really, really, BIG.

And I'm scared. Who wouldn't be? But if I have to survive this, than I have to face it head on with a big smile on my face.

I could still be wrong, though. So let's keep our fingers crossed.

:)

The Parents

My not-so-little-anymore little brother is off to see THE PARENTS. It seems like it was only just yesterday when I was changing his diapers.

*sigh*

I wonder what mama will say when she hears about this juicy news. *evil sister grin*

Better remind him to give his teeth an extra brush.

=)

Case for Christ

I found myself in Booksale today. It was one of those spontaneous, unplanned moments. Being financially-constrained, I told myself I wouldn’t buy anything. I’d just browse & unwind.

What I love most about Booksale is the joy of the hunt. There’s something immensely gratifying about finding a great book for a low, low price. It’s like finding a diamond in the mud.

The first thing I found was a copy of a book I loved when I was in high school: Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley. It was re-telling of the Arthurian legend through the eyes of Morgaine, or Morgan la Faye. I have read & reread this book countless of times. I have always had a fascination for Arthurian legend and Morgaine has been one of my all-time favorite characters.

I wanted to buy it. But alas! The book costs more than a hundred and I only had P80 in my pocket.

As I continued browsing, I couldn’t resist the itch of buying something. It boiled down to a choice between a Rosamund Pilcher novel and a coming-of-age book from an author I’m not familiar with.

And that’s when I found it. The Case for Christ, by Lee Strobel.

And then I knew why I found myself in Booksale this afternoon. It was for this book.`

The Case for Christ is about a journalist's personal investigation of the evidence for Jesus. It is a retracing of his own spiritual journey from atheism to faith.

This is exactly what I need right now.

To be perfectly honest, my spiritual life’s a mess. I have strayed. I have fallen. I have backslid. I’m in the desert. But it’s moments like this that God speaks to me, His gentle voice cutting through my layers of guilt, and telling me that He cares for me still. That He is there. That He loves me.

And as I read through the pages of this book, I find myself slowly finding Jesus again.

He is calling me back.

Writer's Block

I'm having a writer's block. Well, I've been finding it extremely difficult to find the right words lately. Like, for the past few months. Expressing myself used to be quite easy.

But. On the bright side, having a writer's block reaffirms one thing.

I'm a writer.

=)

Dinner

Bo's dinner: 2 puso (hanging rice), 2 "tinae" (intestines), 1 bottle of Sparkle

Canarinha's dinner: 4 puso, 3 pork bbq, 1 hotdog, 1 bottle of Sparkle


x_x

Roda!

It's been a long while since I've been inside a Roda. There's something almost magical about being part of that circle, hearing the call of the berimbau, with the pandeiros and atabaque joining in the rhythm of that ancient music.

We have our monthly Roda today. However, I am home in the province. *sigh*

After one year of being a capoeirista, I don't think I have learned that much. Bo does his best, but I try his patience to the utmost. I've been busy and really tired lately. It's a pretty lame excuse, all in all.

I miss capoeira. Miss sweating it out. Miss muscle cramps and falling down and doing handstands (against the wall). Miss the sound of the berimbau. Miss push-ups and prone cobras. Miss the ginga and esquivas and au sem maus and the meia luas.

The thing is, capoeira is now a part of my life. There's no ignoring it.

I will definitely, definitely be back.

So... Home at Last

So. After fighting with my siblings over who gets to go online, I finally am online. So I browse my FB, open my blogs, tried to write, and come up blank.

There was a time when words flowed out from my brain to my fingertips. Those were happier days.

Anyway. So. I'm home at last. And with my two siblings at that. It's a rare event. Since Ex went to college and Cho graduated, we have seldom been home together at the same time.

It's great that we're all home together. The house is definitely more disorganized now that we're here. And mama gets to yell at us lazybones again. But that's the great part. Mama yelling at us. With all of us in Cebu, this house has been silent for too long.

Yesterday was an ordeal.

A drive which could have taken 15 minutes at most on an ordinary day took me more than an hour. The traffic was enough to drive one nuts. And to think the North Reclamation road was a major highway! It certainly didn't feel that way as I went at an agonizingly slow pace, wedged between ten-wheelers! It didn't help that there was an accident. And to top it all, the electricity was down in the pier area. After I finally got myself a ticket (the last ones!), I had to drive home as fast as traffic allowed, stuff clothes inside my bag, pack my Harrison and laptop, and get a taxi back to the pier. The last part was not as easy as it sounds.

But. All of that doesn't matter now. Because I'm home. Finally. Fighting with my siblings over chores and the internet and television. Just like the old times.

And now, I have to worry about getting a ticket back to Cebu.

x_x

Rabo Day

Sunday was Rabo day! (enter fireworks!)

We started the day with our daily ritual of midnight noodles and canton. I gave him my surprise gift afterwards. Actually, it wasn't much of a surprise. I had ordered customized voodoo dolls but then got tagged in FB so he found out about it. Tsk tsk tsk. At least he had the decency to try to act like he was surprised.



Actually, I wanted to give him something else. However, my poor wallet did not allow me.

I made munchkins to make up for it. Actually, I made munchkins because it was the only thing my culinary skills allowed.

We planned another surprise for that day. But it backfired. Again. (I give up on organizing surprises.) Was going to give him a surprise after-dinner party but then he started inviting people to dinner so people got a little mixed up. Anyway, so it was finally cleared up and we went to the Japanese Carenderia for dinner. It was closed. (Surprise!) So we ended up at a friend's BBQ restaurant.

Dinner. Finally.

Then off at last to another friend's house for the real party!

This is where they started playing dress up. He'd actually make a really pretty princess. Ummm... if it weren't for the biceps bulging.

There was booze (for them) and softdrinks (for me), videoke (again!)and an all-night poker tournament. I kept losing and Rabo had to keep supplying me with coins to keep me in the game. We kept this up until sleep (and Red Horse) finally caught up.

Despite the surprises (on my part), it was a really great day.

And none of it would have been remotely possible if it weren't for the following: Arame & Exquisito (whose house we crashed for the night), Gaivota (who had duty the next day but came anyway, Passarinha (who was supposed to go on a trip but decided to be with the gang instead), Martelo (who had to go home to avoid relieving an embarrassing situation... kidding...), Rato (the big bro), Podim & Barullo (who brought chocolates!), and Papagaio and Cascudo (who came for free dinner... hehe..)

Special thanks to Pristine for the hot pink princess dress.

Looking forward to more Rabo Days in the future.

Thank God It's Friday!

Friday Night. Finally!



And with Monday a holiday (Barangay and SK Elections), what better way to spend a Friday night then with friends and a karaoke machine?



It's been a long, long while since we got together. I remember it was at this Karaoke House where I first bonded with them, the capoeiristas. I was the noob then, the new face. Didn't really realize how much a big chunk of my heart this group finally came to occupy.

Tuesday, with its Module Quiz (which I have yet to start studying) will come soon enough. But I'm glad I had Friday.

x_o

Another Day

I always have these grand intentions before the start of semestral breaks. A day or two of wasting oxygen and then the rest of the 2-week vacation in the pursuit of my dreams.

In reality, it's not even the other way around. As I look back on those lazy September days spent in front of the computer, surfing the net or reading ebooks till my eyes drop, I sigh with regret.

But then again, today's another day.

Cheers to another chance at life!

x_x

07

Funny how when your heart's full, you end up speechless. There are a lot of things I want to say. And maybe one of these days, I'll find the words to say them all. But for now, all I can say, is that I've found my place. And I'm not going anywhere. This canary isn't flying anywhere. She has found a home.

<3

Little Big Brother, Little Big Sister

My little brother's arriving on Friday.

Oh. Wait. Did I just say little? He towers over me now, even when I'm in high heels. I can still remember the times when he was just a wimpy little crybaby I watched over and played with. I remember being called to the kindergarten room the day he... Ooops. I almost slipped. That's a top secret. He'll kill me if I publish embarrassing stories. :p

Oh, I just remembered something. This happened when he was in kindergarten, I think.

Papa: Unsa imo kuhaon nga kurso ig dako nimo, dong?
Excel: Kanang naa sa bangko, pa.
Papa: Aw. Manager? Maayo na xa.
Excel: Di pa. Kanang magtindog sa pultahan.

Hahahahahahahhaha. That's my little brother. While kids his age were dreaming of becoming Superman and Power Rangers someday, he dreamed of becoming a Security Guard. At least he's realistic.

I guess it's safe to say he has outgrown his childhood dream since he's taking up Respiratory Therapy. And if he doesn't get tired of studying, he might even go into Medicine later on.

My little sister, who also happens to be a few inches taller than I am, will be taking the Nursing Licensure Exam in a few more weeks. When we were little, I remember her telling mama she's going to be a nurse by day and a bus driver at night. Hahahahha. And in addition to becoming a bus driver, she was thinking of converting her bus to a mini-carenderia at the same time. Talk about ingenuity!

She'll achieve half her dream very soon. I wonder if she'll push through with the bus driver career. She's thinking of taking up Culinary or Interior Designing though so maybe the bus driving thing will have to come later.

Our childhood days are over. We're all growing up. The days of fighting over toys and the "pan" mama brings home after work are memories now. *sigh*

Oh, wait. Not really. We still fight over food a lot. And we fight over the internet. And household chores. And every little thing we can think of fighting over.

It may not be obvious, but we're actually pretty close to each other. Yes, we fight a lot. But that's because we love each other. (Eeeew) I think. Hahahahha.

And now I'm going to stop being sentimental over my siblings. Because my brother and I will be roommates in a few more days and that means we'll be squabbling on a daily basis. And when we move into our new house around October, my sister will move in with us and that means the beginning of World War III.

Can hardly wait. This is going to be so much fun.

O_o

Dawn

Dawn found me on the streets with Yesu, going the opposite direction in a one-way road, beating the red light, U-turning on a "no U-turn", and going left on a "no left turn". With the CITOMs fast asleep, I glory in the freedom of the streets.

I am not, by nature, a morning person. As a rule, I wake up as late as possible. But there are rare moments when dawn finds me awake and alive.

I love dawn. I love the hush of the city... love how the night sky gives way to the blue and orange pastels of early morning. Love the cool morning air and the palest rays of sunshine. Love how the world seems to slow down and take a breath...

Dawn tells us we can can still make up for the wrongs we've done. We've got one more chance to do things right, to forgive, to laugh, to dream, to work, to just breathe.

We have one more day.

<3

Mood Bracelet

My bestfriend gave me a mood bracelet. It has a bright yellow, rubber strap and a tiny slipper attached to it. The slipper changes color, depending on my mood. The instruction is simple enough. Touch the slipper against your skin and wait for the color to change. Blue for happy. Light blue for chill. Green for active. Orange for unsettled. Violet for romantic. Black for stressed out.

Well, being the logical, rational creatures that we were, we figured out that it's not our mood, but the temperature, that causes the slipper to change color. I think that was obvious enough from the very beginning. But that little piece of knowledge would take the beauty out of the bracelet. So I tell my rational self to shut up and just make believe that it does work.

I love to watch the colors shift and change and blend. Sometimes I'd plunge my hand on a pail of water, or hold it against the air conditioner, just to see the transformation. It gives me a childish sense of pleasure and wonder.

The slipper is seldom just one color. Sometimes it's blue with a tinge of violet, or orange with black edges, or a blend of greenish blue. Like our emotions. We are seldom purely happy. Or purely sad. Purely calm. Purely stressed. Purely angry. At any one point in time, we are a mixture of emotions, some bubbling just above our surface, others hidden way beyond the depths of our souls. If we could only light up depending on our mood, the rainbows would pale in comparison.

When my childlike self goes back to her quiet corner at the back of my head, and the rational me steps out in its place, I find myself wishing the mood bracelet was real. I wish it really could tell me how I feel. Because more often than not, it's all too confusing. It's just so hard to tell.

What am I feeling right now? I don't know. My bracelet says blue.

<3